February 14th comes around every year and Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the 12 people that use Google+ are hit with the same generic loving, love hating or attempting to be historical statuses. Here are the top 8 most unavoidable posts on facebook
“Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!”
Someone always has to ruin your Valentine’s day with a broadcast message of love and happiness. What if I don’t want your generic, shared and ‘globalisational‘ love? What if I am greedy and want all your love for myself.
Me: Everyone? What, so you cannot message me directly? Am I not important enough to get my own individual Valentine’s message? See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
“Look what I received *Picture of roses*”
Someone always had to ruin your Valentine’s day by celebrating the amount of dead flowers their boyfriend, husband or Tinder lover got them. It’s like they do not even care that you did not get any flowers, or as much flowers or as beautiful flowers. What is even worse, is that they did not ask about your hayfever. Now your eyes are itchy and your nose is runny simply at the thought of their floral lover. See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
“She Said Yes!”
Someone always has to ruin your Valentine’s day with their happy news. I am crying in the shower and listening to Sinead O’Connor’s ‘nothing compares to you’– you know just minding my own #SingleLife business and there you go being happy about your own life.
Where’s my happiness? I might have said yes. But no you were too busy loving someone else! Or worse the person who is thinking- “I only got some flowers, chocolates and a trip to new york- no one asked me to marry them! Now, I feel like my partner doesn’t even love me! Thanks!” See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
“My Mum is my Valentine”
Someone always has to ruin your Valentine’s day with their love for their parents. Who doesn’t love their mum? She literally carried you around for 9 months, just so you can write an obvious status years later. Now, I feel bad because I haven’t declared my obvious love for my mother. Now I am questioning whether I love my mum as much as you. Am I a bad son? Now, I have to ring her. But I feel like the only reason I am calling her is because you have emotionally blackmailed me with your personal but public love for your mother. No doubt, my Mum will be all concerned about my life and whereabouts- you know loving! I did not want anyone to love me today. See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
Someone always has to kill joy your happy valentines mood with their love all year blah blah blah status. Where were you yesterday? I did not receive any love from you. Or June 12th 2016? I’ve checked my Inbox and DMs I did not find any Happy June 12th message, no flowers or poems! I have not seen you show me love all year round…Shheeeeettt! See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
“I don’t celebrate pagan holidays”
Someone always ruins your Valentine’s Day by whipping out the History and Theology degree they do not actually have. Pagan or not my girlfriend is not going to care about a history lesson when I forget to get her a gift and a card. “Now, I am wondering if by sending these flowers I have condemned my girlfriend’s soul to eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell? She doesn’t even like sunbeds; I will never hear the end of this!”. See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
“I only have love for myself”
Someone always ruins your Valentine’s day with their lack of love. There’s me enjoying my partner, my marriage and now I feel sorry for you and your loneliness! Gosh! Usually, those people who are in and out of facebook relationships. Why are you announcing your love for yourself? Sounds more like an advertisement for your single status. See how selfish they are! What about my life? What about me?
Insert Non-Valentine’s Day related post
Someone always has to ruin your valentine’s day by not acknowledging it is valentine’s day. Look I do not need to see that negative story today. That can wait until February 15th. I am trying to boast about how much I am loved or love someone. Now I am feeling sad and having to care about other people’s lives. See how selfish their status is! What about my life? What about me?
Hopefully, by now you would have realised this is a fairly sarcastic post. We live in a society where everyone has the ability to share their opinion and their complaint. However, sometimes some opinions should stay in people’s heads and some complaints are just complaints for complainty complaint sake! Ie not needed and too often not valid. Most of these complaints are driven by bloggers like myself- Yeah I said it! So we must all look introspectively and think do I really need to say or care about this.
Let people love, be loved, be unloved or not care about love at all. Let the human experience have as much variety as the petals in a flower show. Let us save our judgement and condemnation for more worthy moments and people in humanity.
So have a happy Valentines Day or don’t- do whatever makes you feel happy.
If you like this check out the rest of our articles on love, relationships & spoken word:
- How To Last Longer In Bed
- How to find the one whilst being single?
- How to have a happy relationship
- How to know when to leave or stay in a relationship
- Saul Williams- Coded Language
- Buju Banton- How Long
- Lauryn Hill- Motive and Thoughts
- Dana Gilmore- Woman… Wife… Friend..
- Oscar Brown Jr- I apologise for being black
- Ursula Rucker- What a woman must do
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