Unity happens to be one of the major problems plaguing the black community. If we are to unite on all fronts, what is standing in our way? This post will not be a problem then solution discussion. Instead, it will dive directly into the problem and by stating a firm understanding of what our primary problem is.

Vulnerability: we as black people struggle with being vulnerable with one another. Therefore, we break ourselves into fragments and social groups, which we think best represents us. We turn a collective into a fractional battle between religion, gender, intelligence, and other varying degrees of social structure. No matter how much we chant and post on social media about unification being our problem- UNIFICATION remains our problem. Our progress is slow and met with adversity not only from where it is expected but also from with our own social hubs.

This is not exclusive to us, but we have a fear of not being worthy of connection. The question is why do we act and think like this? What I have found is that there are 3 principles that unite those people who have been able to feel worthy of establishing solid connections. These are the three C’s: Courage, Compassion, and Connection.

    1. Courage: They have the courage to be imperfect.
    2. Compassion: They have the compassion to treat themselves with kindness and then others
    3. Connection: Through courage they have the ability to authentically connect with others and be seen for their imperfections.

These people have a strong sense of love, belonging, and self-worthiness and with these attributes, they also understand the importance of vulnerability. To be vulnerable enough to try a new career path with no guarantees, or be vulnerable enough to initiate sex for the first time, to say I love you first, or take a chance on something without knowing its outcome. They have gauged that every meaningful and lasting interaction first begins with a degree of vulnerability. But for many us we do not know what this is or how we all struggle with it. So how do we struggle with vulnerability?

  1. We numb it- we use drugs or partake in risky behavior like random sex or incurring debt, and over-eating. But we cannot selectively numb ourselves, when we do this we also numb joy, gratitude, happiness. Every emotion we have has an equal yet opposite emotion and we become miserable looking for purpose and meaning repeating a dangerous cycle.
  2. Certainty: we make everything uncertain certain. There are so many perspectives in life, this abundance of choice, makes us certain we have made the right choice in our own life. Or it makes us fight against other people’s choices and perspectives. We begin to blame anything that causes us to think that there may be other perspectives. Much like religion, politics and information/intelligence we combat anything that goes against our current view.
  3. Pretend: we pretend or claim certain things that may or may not be true. We also pretend that certain decisions we make do not affect others around us.
  4. Perfect- we begin to seek perfection in things and ourselves. Our pursuit of this false perfection makes us devalue our true beauty and what makes us unique and special. Thus we seek unachievable perfection from our body modifications, hair, clothes, our children, our partners.

The change in our community must begin within ourselves, one day at a time, and one aspect at a time. We have to learn that in order for us to become truly united under one banner or under one umbrella with manner banners, we first have to begin with being vulnerable with each other. We have to know that at the core of courage, compassion, and connection is a small amount of openness. We have to learn what it means to be wholehearted, happy, and connected. So every day we must let ourselves be seen (deeply seen) by our peers, lean into gratitude, learn to be joyous, know that YOU ARE ENOUGH – then be kind and gentle, first to yourself and then to others.


Angelica Diallo

Check out my site: www.TheAlphess.Online

Here are some empowering Articles about President Trump and issues affecting society.

‘3Cs of Life; choice, chance and change- you must make the choice, to take the chance, if you want anything to ever change. ‘ Antoine Allen
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Do you think Black people need unity?
Do you think the Black community is lacking a leader or direction?
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