lupita nyongo, gilbert arenasGilbert Arenas decided to join the ever increasing and shameful list of Black men willing to throw Black women under the bus on social media. Before what the former basketball player describes as a misreading, Gilbert stated that there were few beautiful dark-skinned Black women and that Lupita Nyong’o is not ‘cute’. Gilbert later apologized after a family member explained the meaning of Meme that had provoked his reaction.

Gilbert’s comment was in response to an Instagram post from ProBlkThought that read, “Dear Black Girl: You don’t have to be mixed to be beautiful,” to which the basketballer replied with:

How black are we talking??? Not to be funny can u name a beautiful black women on the outside … not brown skin … like tyrese black … top 50 most beautiful women off [sic] all time … the darkest women they have is (Keshia Knight Pulliam aka Rudy) (gab)) union) (taral hicks) (Serena Williams),” he wrote before adding, “When u say African features black then u have (#1 lupita nyong’o) and she’s cute when the lights are off second is (Ajuma nasenyana) sorry but ewww so the black beautiful women u try to boost up is technically light skinned or brown skinned.

Gilbert later gave this somewhat of an apology…

I never say sorry for the shit I say but it’s my fault I read this wrong and got into my feelings…I thought it was saying,if ur mixed ur not considered black and beautiful and my kids are mixed and dark skinned so I perceived it how I wanted to..I just got off the phone with the only women who tells me when my shit stinks,and I know it’s comes from the heart becuz she will defend me in front of everyone else and cuss me out when we’re alone @christyarenas she reread what it said (your African features are all the attractiveness u need) so I erased to kinda say sorry but not say sorry becuz u can’t truly blame me for reading it wrong (I went to public school) so I read it how I thought it was written….I fucked this up so I deserved the hatred that comes….I was trying to defend all shades of black but that’s what the post was also doing…I ended up pulling a COON moment…sorry all shades of black women no need to forgive me Im pretty sure I’ll say some fucked up shit probably in two weeks ?? (I know pussy prices about to double up on my ass from black women ?) and as for lupita she ain’t cute to me sorry…just like I’m not cute to 95% of u…

A post shared by Gilbert Arenas (@no.chill.gil) on

Firstly, Lupita is a grown woman. She does not need Gilbert Arenas to consider her as ‘cute‘ and nor does any Black woman. She is one of the many beautiful, intelligent and most of talented Black women, that we men are blessed to call our mothers, sisters, wives, family members and friends. With that said, Black women’s existence is not for the appreciation or in this case disrespect of men. A Black woman’s beauty and most importantly her worthy, talent and intelligent does not need to be validated or quantified by men, especially men like Gilbert Arenas.

black man holding black woman, revolution, love, black loveThe problem is, why are some Black men so easily triggered when it comes to dark Skinned Black women seeking to empower themselves in a society that often celebrates lighter shades of beauty over their equally beautiful features? Are they really defending lighter skinned women or are they merely defending their own ego and their dating preferences? Why are so-called ‘real n*ggas’ so fake with their admittance of their unwarranted hate for the women that have birthed and often raised them and their children?

The issue here is not about having a preference. Love whomever you desire. Fancy whoever your eye is attracted to. However, do not use your personal preference as a public definition of fact about who is and is not beauty. Do not bring your personal preference into prominence as a verbal weapon against another group or in this case dark-skinned Black women.

So no, it is not ok Gilbert Arenas, the father and son of Black women felt that he needed to throw dark skin women under the bus for an inexplicable and unwarranted defence of what he says was for mixed women. The sad truth is Gilbert’s comments whether or not he misread, reflect a deep-seated bias against dark skinned women that pits all black women against each other in some kind of misogynistic social media battle for the appreciation of men. Gilbert and other men need to realise that their opinion has not been asked for. Sometimes it is best to listen, learn and ask questions, rather than make statements on subjects when your opinion is neither warranted, qualified or justified.

As the late great Gill Scot-Heron once said

My life has been guided by women,
But because of them I am a man.

Listen to this beautiful model speak about her experienced as a dark skinned black woman

10 Reasons Why Black Women Are Magic- Imriel Speaks

I recorded this apology because of comments by Black men like Gilbert Arenas

An Open Apology To Black Women From A Black Man -Antoine Speaks

Here are some of the replies to Gilbert Arenas

With that last said, I hope Black women try not to generalise us all. There are many brothers who do not agree with comments like those made by Gilbert Arenas.

By Antoine Allen
Tweet us at @AntoineSpeakson

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